Name: Angelo the Milkman

Birthday: Blurvembergust 17.3, 8691

Zodiac Sign: Snorpicor 🦑
• Element: Seltzer
• Ruling Planet: A rogue moon made entirely of cheese
• Lucky color: Neon beige
• Unlucky number: ∞ (but only on Tuesdays)
• Symbol: A snow globe containing a disco ball

Traits of a Snorpicor:
• Fluent in sarcasm and at least one imaginary language.
• Emotionally powered by snack foods
• Mystically drawn to shiny objects and comfortable socks
• Can predict the future, but only 15 seconds ahead

Current Location: Udderville, Milksippi

Hometown: Gouda Gulch – where residents live in holes and love it.

Gender Identity: Lactosefluid - 98% Barista Masc/2% Barista Femme

Languages: English and Gibberonese – “Splotnik flarnoo! Wobble the glibglob!”

Occupation: Superhero/Milkman at Southxsw

Job Description: Saving the day, keeping the streets safe, and drinking milk.

Education: 2% Plains Elementary School, Curd High School, The University of Mooville

Relationship Status: Single, not looking - stay away from me.

Religion: Procrastinitology
• Procrastinitology Core Belief: The universe was meant to be finished ages ago, but The Divine Being keeps hitting the cosmic snooze button. Creation is ongoing… just, you know, later.
• Holy Scripture: The Book of Eventually, consisting of sticky notes, vague plans, and one unfinished to-do list written on the back of a receipt.

Favorite Color: White

Favorite Bands: The Moo Fighters, Fleetwood Mac & Cheese, Almond Milk Rejects, The Rolling Scones, Pearl Jam & Jelly, Creamy and the Jets, Red Hot Dairy Peppers, Yogurtronic, Curd Cobain, and The Velveetables.

Favorite Movies: The Fast and the Frothy, Dudes, Where’s My Carton?, The Dairyshank Redemption, Moo’verine, Lords of the Creamer, Jurassic Lark: Cowassic Park, Silence of the Cows, Mad Milk: Dairy Road, The Milkening, The X-Milks, and Creaminator 2: Judgment Pasteurization.

Favorite T.V. Shows: Better Caul Saul, Moo Order: Dairy Victims Unit, Whey & Order, The Pasteurlorians, Cowton Abbey, The Udder Side, Stranger Milks, Breaking Flan, Grey's Uddernomy, The Fresh Prince of Bellcurd, Milk Mirror, That ’Moo’s Show, The Big Dairy Theory, and Wheel of Froth-tune.

Favorite Books: Fifty Shades of Whey, To Churn a Mockingbird, Moooby Dick, Brave New Curd, Of Mice and Milk, Gone with the Whey, The Giver of Calcium, Lord of the Milks, Eat, Pray, Pasteurize, The Secret Life of Cows, Alice in Dairyland, Pride and Pasteurization, The Da Moolky Code, The Great Milk-sby, A Tale of Two Creamies, Little Cow-ses, The Very Hungry Calf-erpillar, and Charlotte’s Curd.

Find me online:
⦿ Dreamwidth
⦿ Bluesky